The Trip to the Movie's
by Darker Demons
Summary: The G-boys go to the movies, thanks to Duo's massive begging. Heero has a woman? Duo's on a sugar high? Wufies stuck up a tree by his pants? OH GOD! NOT THE ZOMBIES!
1. Waking the House

(Warning: this fanfic contains or refers to content on Gundam Wing, Cowboy Bebop, Sorcerer Hunters, Mission: Impossible, the web site Katara's Heaven, Angel's Hell, fanfictions on that site, Tekken, and . We do not claim to own any of these things or materials; rather, they belong to their respective owners.)

This is a joint fic between Darker Dem0ns and V Shape otaku

Duo picked up the morning paper. He flipped through it, and checked the movie showings for the day. "Quatre!!Quatre!!" Duo jumped up and down in front of Quatre like a poodle begging for a dog biscuit.

"Where? Why? And how much does it cost?"

"Theater. Mission: Impossible 3. About thirty dollars if we all go."

"But, it's Sunday, shouldn't you be going to church or something?"

"No, not anymore."

"Why not?"

"I figured out that the father at the local church stopped using wine and began using grape juice."

"Oh…." Quatre reached into his pocket and pulled out his billfold. "Well… I'm not sure that I have enough money in my wallet right now and the bank is closed today."

"B-b-bu-but….Aishiteru… and … and …." Duo continues whining until he is completely non-understandable and is on the ground, hugging Quatre's knees. Finally he looks up and gives Quatre the 'puppy-dog eyes' "Please?" Duo asks, in his most childish, innocent, two-year-old tone.

"Oh fine then. Just as long as you talk Heero and the other two into going, it's fine by me."

"But… SubWoofer doesn't associate with me."

"Well, in order to go, you have to talk to all three."

Duo ran into Trowa's bedroom first to wake him up, as he is still asleep. Duo picked up Trowa's mask from his dresser, held it up to his face and tiptoed over to Trowa's bed.

DD

"TROWA!!!! MACAROONI HAS TAKEN OVER THE MINDS OF ELVES AND IS AIDING THE PURPLE TURKEYS IN THEIR ATTACK ON THE EARTH!!!! YOUR ASSISSTANCE IS NEEDED!!!!"

VSO

Duo then took a dramatic pose and grinned dementedly, then laughed maniacally enough to send chills down the spine Gateau Mocha (from Sorcerer Hunters a.k.a. Bakaretsu Hunters).

Trowa leaped out of his bed, showing that he slept in nothing more than his boxers, (exactly as Blitz first saw him.; -P) saw Duo and relaxed… a little.  "What the hell are you doing in here?"

"You are coming with us to go see" Duo paused dramatically, "Mission: Impossible 3."

"I don't have a choice, do I?"

"No."

"Give me the mask back."

"NOOOO!!!!!! I wanna keep it for Halloween."

"MYMASKGIVE IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!"

"No… I wanna scare little kids so that I can take their candy. And then… I eat the candy and get Quatre on the Zero system and we laugh like squirrels on crack."

"Isn't that why you carry that scythe on Halloween?"

"Ohh….yeah, that's right." Duo smiled and handed he mask back to Trowa. Before Trowa has a chance to reply, Duo runs out of the room and dashes into Heero's bedroom.

"WhatareyoudoingHeero? WhatareyoudoingHeero? WhatareyoudoingHeero? Huh? Huh? Huh? Do you have any candy?"

"Hnn."

Duo ran throughout Heero's overly organized bedroom and began digging through his drawers, (The ones in his dresser!!!), throwing out every piece of clothing he came to. Finally he reached the bottom of the drawer and saw a piece of black material… it was _women's _lingerie. Duo pulled it out of the drawer gently and held it up to the light. "Heero, whose is this?"

Heero turned to see what the hyper lunatic had absconded with this time. "DUO MAXWELL!!!!! PUT THAT DOWN!!!!!"

The sound of gunshots sounded throughout the house as Duo sped out of the room and into the kitchen where Quatre was still guarding his doughnuts. "Quatre! Look what I found in Heero's room!!" He held up the lingerie as a trophy of living to escape having been in Heero's room.

Quatre leaned over, mildly interested. "Whose are those?"

"I dunno, but just finding it made Heero really mad."

Heero stormed into the kitchen, still holding his revolver. "MAXWELL!!! GIVE THAT BACK, **NOW!!!**"

"Not until you tell me whose it is!!!"

"NO!!"

Trowa wandered into the kitchen and examined the situation. "Heero, when did you have a woman in this house?"

"None of your business, but last week."

"Last week? Since when did Heero Yuy bring women into the house? I thought that's what Quatre did." Duo grinned and leaned against the wall behind Quatre where he would be safe.

Quatre blushed furiously and looked back at Duo. "I've only had two different women in this house, and it's been two months since I have even spoken to Danielle."

"Well, you still had that one girl in the house for a solid week, and she only slept in your room, not the guest room." Trowa pulled a jelly-filled doughnut out of the box and began to eat it when Wufei walked into the room.

"What tragedy hath stricken this house now?" Wufei glared at the rest of the pilots.

Duo grinned and held out the lingerie. "I found this in Heero's room."

Wufei made an immediate grab for his nose and slithered back to the bathroom.

Trowa grinned in a way that is unique to anyone who has ever worked in a circus. "I guess he still hasn't matured. So, who was she, Heero?"

"Someone I've been seeing for quite a while."

"Relena?"

"Oh hell no!"

"Who?"

"No one any of you would know, so don't worry about it."

Duo leaned over Heero, who was now sitting at the table in the kitchen, and examined him. "That's funny, you look like the same Heero Yuy we've known all this time."

"Why is that?"

"He could never get anyone to date him except for Relena. She went with him because he was the object of her obsession. But, if you're dating someone else… she must have found you, right?"

"Well…. Actually, we ran into each other at the grocery store. Her car wouldn't start, so I took her home. After that, she told me that she wanted to repay me somehow, I said a date would be nice, and well…"

"Heero got a girlfriend!! He even did it without our help!! Quatre, check the skies for flying pigs."

Quatre humored Duo and looked out the window. He didn't see any flying pigs, but he did see Wufei fall out the second floor window and into the maple tree below. "No pigs, but Wufei just fell out of the window." Quatre opened the window he was looking from and stuck his head out of it. "Wufei! Do you need help?"

"NO! What kind of a weakling falls out of a window and gets stuck in a tree, then needs help?"

"Okay then." Quatre shut the window a sat back down on his stool.

Trowa looked at Quatre as he moved toward the window "Are you sure he doesn't need our help?"

"He said he didn't in his own way, but in ten minutes we'll go out and get him down."

-Ten minutes later-

Heero, Duo, Trowa and Quatre walk outside and look up the maple tree. Sure enough, Wufei is still stuck up there. Quatre look at Wufei, shakes his head and turns around. "I'll go get a ladder."

Trowa looked at the tree, then Wufei, then ground, then the tree again. "No. I can get it." In one graceful leap, Trowa has perched on the largest branch in the tree. Trowa looked closer at where Wufei was, angrily struggling to get his belt off, as that was what held him to the tree. "Wufei, hold still, you're shaking that branch so much, I can't really help you."

DD

Duo grinned and ran at the tree full speed ramming into the tree as hard as he could shaking it so hard that Wufei's belt snapped and he headed head first at the ground. "GOD DAMN IT, MAXWELL, THAT REALLY HURT!!" Wufei stumbled to his feet holding his nose, which was throbbing by that time and had turned red. Duo grinned at him, "Well, you wanted out of the tree didn't you? It was the quickest way I could think of!"

Quatre came back and looked at Wufei who was still screaming at Duo who was still laughing and then to Trowa, who was still in the tree.

VSO

"You really didn't have do that, Duo"

"Well, I saw the opportunity and I took it."

"You could have warned me." Trowa said lightly. He checked his balance and back-flipped out of the tree, landing gracefully on his feet.

Duo grinned and clapped his hands. "Can you do magic tricks too?"

"No."

"Do you sell cotton candy?"

"No."

DD

"Well, do you run around with pots on your head screaming at the top of your lungs getting really hyper off candy and laugh like a carnie?"

VSO

"No."

"Then… you're PsuedoCarnie!!! You're not an actual carnie, you just play one on TV."

"Hnn."

"Are we still going to the Movie Theater?" Trowa crossed his arms, glaring at Duo.

Wufei wiped blood from his nose and tried to act like he couldn't feel the immense pain. "What do you mean 'Are we still going'? I never got invited."

"Well, we're all going to the theater to go and see Mission: Impossible 3." Quatre said in that matter-of-fact tone that automatically made everyone shut up.


	2. The Mall

Everyone milled around the house, finished their breakfast, and readied themselves to go to the theater. Duo grabbed a cup of coffee and got in the car, waiting for everyone else to get ready. Quatre got in the driver's seat, last time they let Wufei drive, he almost ran them into a telephone pole, and last time Heero drove, they made a twenty-minute drive in five minutes. No one except Heero had driven with Trowa, and for some reason, no one wanted to. Trowa, Heero, and Wufei all got into the backseats; occasionally arguing over whom should sit in the middle. Finally, Trowa sat in the center, glaring at Wufei for even starting such argument.

DD

Duo grinned at Quatre and got that hyper puppy dog gleam in his eyes, "Quatre, can I drive?" Suddenly all movement in the car stopped as everyone looked at Quatre hoping to all the seven hells and beyond that he would say 'no'. Quatre stared at Duo for a moment before nodding, "I suppose you can. I mean you haven't ever before." Duo let out a cry of joy before jumping into the driver's side and grinning into the rear view mirror. Heero, Trowa, and Wufei all stared in shock at Quatre for being as stupid at to allow Maxwell to drive, oh well; it was Quatre's car after all. If Duo wrecked, they could always replace it. What they were worried about was themselves. Duo started up the car almost the second Quatre had the door shut and was going down the road as fast as he could which was at a steady speed of 98 miles per hour. The other boys sat there in total fear, ever Heero looked mildly afraid with Duo behind the wheel, all the sudden about 20 feet in front of the car, still going at 98 mph, the stop light changed and turned red. Duo slammed on the breaks as fast as he could leaving a burning skid mark behind them as they came to a stop just behind the street line.

Duo grinned at Quatre who was shaking by that time as a man in his early 50's in this old beat up car rolled up beside the driver's side of Quatre's car. Duo took a drink of his coffee before noticing that the man also had a coffee cup in his hand. The man looked over at Duo and smiled. Duo smiled back looked at the man's coffee cup back at his and with that evil little gleam in his eyes shouted through the window, "MY COFFEE CUP IS BETTER THAN YOUR COFFEE CUP!!" (A.N. For some strange reason, I really did say this to someone once, but I don't think she heard me.) The man gave Duo a look of mild annoyance and in a pure British accent said, "I believe that your mistaken sir for my coffee cup is no mere coffee cup but one of purely made china made by special order that-" Duo cut him off by yelling again, "MY COFFEE CUP IS STILL BETTER THAN YOUR COFFE CUP!!" The, he preceded by speeding off again at top speed screaming at the top of his lungs about insane coffee cup's that took over the world.

VSO

Wufei glared at Duo. "Your coffee cup is weak. I could beat it."

Duo slammed on the brakes, causing the cars behind him to swerve out of the way to miss him, sending several in the ditch. Anger burned in his eyes. "WHAT?!?!?"

Wufei glanced back at the other cars behind him and saw the massive destruction that he had just caused. He grinned. "I said-"Trowa and Heero slapped their hands over his mouth to keep him from finishing the sentence. "Eh-heh… nothing, he didn't say anything at all." Duo looked at both Trowa and Heero with a critical expression on his face. "Are you sure?"

"Hnn."

"Okay." Duo continued on his way to the theater

DD

 Going at his…normal speed of 95 mph. Duo got to the theater and slammed on the breaks again parking perfectly and stepped out of the car grinning triumphantly at Quatre, Heero, Trowa, and Wufei at the shakily got out.

VSO

"Why aren't there any other cars in the parking lot?" Duo asked as he glanced around the lot.

Quatre looked down at his watch. "It's only ten o'clock, the theater doesn't open until noon."

"So you two hurried us out into public for no reason?"

"Weak jerks who can't tell time."

"Hnn."

DD

Duo grinned and ran across the street to the candy store with a large check in hand.

"MAXWELL GET BACK HERE I WANT TO GO BACK HOME, AND YOU DON'T NEED CANDY, YOU ALREADY DRIVE LIKE A MANIAC!"

VSO

Wufei shook his fist in the air. "Get back here!"

Heero shook his head. Duo didn't listen to Wufei and everyone but Wufei knew it. "Duo get back here and I'll buy you some candy when the movie starts." Heero stated in his familiar monotonous tone.

Duo turned on the dime. "Really?"

"Hnn."

Duo ran back toward Heero at full speed. When he got to where they were all standing, he began jumping up and down yelling out the names of countless candies that he wanted.

"Okay, okay. Just shut up."

Quatre looked around, hoping to find a plan in the empty parking lot. Finally, he glanced across the highway (in the opposite direction of the candy store) and saw the local mall. "Well, we, uhh… we could go walk to the mall and look around for a while."

"What are we, a bunch of weak women?"

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a woman with short, dark violet hair wearing a yellow leather halter-top, matching shorts just barely held on by a pair of suspenders, a red sweated looped around her elbows, and a pair of white boots appeared and grabbed Wufei by the collar of his shirt and lifted him into the air. "Weak women? What do you mean, weak women?" Only Faye Valentine would take this topic to this extreme… okay, maybe any other self-respecting woman would too. (A.N. Okay, okay, we all want to kick his a. I just needed a way to introduce Faye into the paragraph.)

"Only a woman would wander around a mall with no specific purpose but to waste time and money."

"Oh yeah? What do you think sporting goods stores are for?"

Heero looked up, with a slight gleam in his eye. "Wufei, you really have no room to talk, I've seen you drooling in front of the Victoria Secret store in the mall."

Wufei blushed a deep scarlet. "INJUSTICE!!!" Wufei squirmed and tried his best to elude Faye's grip, but he could not. "How is it that a weak woman could hold a warrior like myself so that he may not escape?"

Spike Spiegel walked out from behind the movie theater with a cigarette pressed between his lips. "She's had practice, kid, lots and lots of practice."

Trowa snickered. "Perhaps it is not the woman who is weak, rather the warrior."

Wufei stopped all movement, suddenly crestfallen. "Then, I … I have no right to stay in the midst of stronger -" (blah, blah blah, blah blah blah, weak blah, injustice blah, injustice of the weaker, blah, strong, blah… It's Wufei, what do you expect?)

"What is this moron babbling about now?" Faye asked of the other pilots as she dropped Wufei to the ground.

"That's something even **we** haven't been able to figure out, and we've dealt with him for years." Trowa took a long look at Faye. "By any chance… Are you… uhh… are you single?" Trowa spit the words out while his face reddened. He wasn't very used to talking with girls, and certainly not girls that dressed in that revealing of an outfit.

"Huh?" Faye began to check Trowa out when Spike grabbed the collar of her halter-top and began dragging her in the opposite direction. "Sorry," he said, "We have a bounty to catch and we most certainly can't be chit-chatting with total strangers." Within a few seconds, the duo had disappeared behind the building, and soon after a zip-craft blasted off, flying overhead.

Trowa looked down on the ground. "Well, I never had that good of luck with women anyhow."

Duo rolled his eyes and grabbed Trowa and Wufei by their arms, dragging them to the mall, across the highway that Quatre and Heero had already crossed. After they had passed the first lane of traffic, the other two began walking voluntarily for fear that Duo may leave them in traffic to be hit by a speeding car. Duo skipped through, dodging the vehicles as if they weren't moving. Trowa practically flew through, using a series of acrobatics, gracefully dancing through the cars. Wufei crossed his arms. _No REAL warrior would dance around like that. They're all fools. _ Wufei paid no mind to the traffic around him and walked in that cocky gait that only he can manage. However, when he reached the last lane of traffic, a black Dodge Ram narrowly missed hitting him as it swerved around the corner and into the parking lot of the mall.

Wufei looked after the truck a look of pure anger on his face. " THIS IS INJUSTICE! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO RUN ME OVER!! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT PEDESTRIANS HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY!!?!"

The black truck screeched to a halt when it got into the parking lot. Two teenage girls jumped out. One had long reddish-brown hair put up into a braid. She glared at Wufei as her friend headed into the mall. "Pedestrians DO have the right of way, as long as they're not in my way."

"INJUSTICE!!!"

"Fuck justice!"

Wufei stood, staring at her dumbfounded. He would have been in the same spot for longer, but Trowa pulled him out of the way as more traffic headed straight for him.

DD

Duo stood in the middle of the mall looking around for the other pilots, who had been lost to his sight as he had ran across to the mall in a rush. "DUO! OVER HERE!" Duo looked over in the direction of the bookstore where Quatre stood looking at him oddly. "QUATRE!! QUATRE!!" Duo ran over to Quatre with one of those odd grins on his face. "Whatcha doin' Quatre? Huh Huh? Whatcha doin'?!!?" Quatre continued to look at him oddly before answering. "Duo, do you know where the others are?" Duo got a very thoughtful look to him for a moment, making Quatre actually think he knew something important, well, that is until he said, "I'm a frickin' cucumber, whatcha got to say to that??" Duo grinned happily as Quatre assumed a look of complete confusion. Duo started to bound off happily. "MAXWELL!!! WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING!!!" a sharp voice rang out from two stores away. Duo looked behind him to see Wufei standing there hands on hips glaring at him with Heero and Trowa next to him. "Hey, there you guys are! I was looking everywhere!!" Trowa gave Duo a disbelieving look, "No you weren't, we've been standing there for the last ten minutes looking at you waiting for you to notice." Duo just grinned and looked at him happily, "Really! You mean it!!" Everyone looked at each other with confusion. Quatre came over and looked at them, "Well, shouldn't we start heading back? It's about 11:45, and shouldn't we try to get to the theater early?" Duo grinned, "CANDY!!" Heero looked at Duo, "Yeah, you'll get your damn candy."

VSO

Duo grabbed Heero by his right wrist and began to drag him in the direction of the candy store. Wufei stepped in front of them. "No, we'll get your candy at the theater. We must go now."

"NO!!! Must… have… candy… now…" Duo took a dramatic pose and 'fainted'.

Trowa, Quatre, Heero, and Wufei leaned over the 'crumpled body' on the floor. Trowa poked Duo's cheek, expecting a reaction that he didn't get. "Maybe we should bury him."

Quatre shook his head. "No. I think that he's always wanted to be cremated when he died. Let's just go burn him."

"Hnn. Maybe we should throw the body in Deathscythe and set off the self-destruct mechanism by remote, destroying both man and Gundam."

Trowa shook his head. "I've got a better idea, let's get him stuffed and put him in the living room next to the fireplace."

Quatre nodded, drying a non-existent tear. "I'll do it. I'll brush his hair, and when the hair starts to fall out, I'll buy a wig for him."

"Hnn."

"INJUSTICE!!"

"Now what?"

"He still has my book on how to deal with women in the twenty-first century!! I wanted that back!"

Duo sat up, with a mildly zombified expression on his face. "You dumbfuck! I'm not really dead!"

Wufei turned white as a ghost. "IT'S ALIVE!!!"

Duo reached up and (softly) punched Wufei on the nose.  When he pulled his fist away, his knuckles were crimson. "Bleed easily, don't we?"

Wufei held his hand over his bleeding nose. "Shut up, Maxwell!" Wufei shook his head a little, then wiped his nose with a napkin he had stuffed in his pocket. "We need to go NOW!"


	3. The Face of Metal

The five boys rushed into the theater. Quatre pulled out his wallet and paid for the tickets as Duo dragged Heero over to the concessions. "Ooh, they're all soo pretty… Can I have all of them?"

"No."

"How about just one of each kind?"

"No."

"Then all of the Pixy Stick's?"

"NO."

"What about the cotton candy?"

"Hell no."

"Do you ever say 'yes'?"

"Rarely."

"Asshole. How about three dozen super ropes?"

"No."

"Can I have anything?"

"Possibly."

"Are you doing that 'I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes' thing?"

"I'm trying."

"I bet I can make you screw up."

"Try me."

"Is the sky blue?"

"Not today, it seemed sort of clouded over like maybe a storm is coming on."

"Is your name Heero Yuy?"

"Technically."

"Are you a boy?"

"Of course I am."

"I am I annoying?"

"More so than anything else."

"Do I have long hair?"

"In comparison to what?"

"Most other guys."

"In comparison to most other guys, you have long hair."

"Can I have a box of Junior Mints?"

"Sure." Heero pulled a few bills out of his wallet and placed them on the counter. "Can I order a box of Junior Mints?"

The clerk looked up at him, chewed on her bubble gum a few seconds, looked at Duo and grinned. "Are you sure that's all you want? I think that your friend wants more."

"Yes, I'm sure that's all. You've never seen this guys on a sugar rush."

Both the clerk and Duo began laughing hysterically. Heero looked at them both blankly.

"What? Did I say something wrong?"

"You said 'yes'."

Heero promptly flashed them the Death Glare from Hell © and walked back toward Quatre and the others. He leaned against the wall next to the Tekken 3 arcade game, glared at everyone else and crossed his arms, making for the perfect picture of antisocial. Much to his dismay, Duo came bounding toward him.

"Heero, I got you some Mountain Dew with your change since you didn't get it from the nice lady." Duo handed the soft drink toward 'antisocial' while still running toward him and tripped. The majority of the pop was spilt on Heero's shirt and arms, and a few drops splattered on the arcade game. Heero once again shot a glare throughout the theater, stood up and headed toward the restrooms.

"Where ya' going?" the braided boy asked innocently.

"To clean up. I **don't **need you help."

"Oh."

As Heero walked past, Quatre handed him his ticket. "We'll be in theater number 5."

"Okay." Hero stuffed the ticket into his wallet, put that back into his back pocket and headed into the restroom. What he met wasn't what he expected.

"Don't you know that this is the _Ladies restroom_?!?!?" The voice belonged to a girl with reddish-brown hair tie neatly into a braid, quite similar to Duo's.

"S-so sorry ma'am." Heero took a better look at the girl. "Ryoko?"

"Heero Yuy? What are you doin' here? Lookin' for trouble?"

Suddenly, it seemed as if all of the blood in Heero's body rose to his cheeks (A.N. The ones on his face, Washu!) as he blushed more violently than a girl who has lost her skirt in the midst of a large crowd. "Uhh… We're just here to see a movie."

"_We_? Your friends came? I haven't gotten to meet them yet, which movie are you seeing?"

"M-mission Imp-possible: T-three."

"Why are you stuttering?"

Heero's already scarlet face turned even deeper red. "Uhh… I need to get cleaned up, so I'll just get to the men's –"

Ryoko shook her head. "I'll help you, I was wondering why you were all wet." She grinned at the thought of a pun that could go along with what she had just stated. "Here, get that shirt off and I'll rinse it out. I have an extra shirt that I just bought that you can have."

"Oh… thanks."

"You know, we never have talked after what happened last week. I'm not busy for the rest of the evening, maybe we could go out somewhere."

Heero nodded as he pulled his shirt off and handed it to Ryoko. Just as she was handing him the other one, an elderly woman walked in. Both of the teens turned pure white as they expected the woman to faint or scream or something like that. Instead, she just shook her head, muttered something about 'Young people', and went about doing her business. She glared at them, when she saw that they were just standing in the middle of the room like statues when she finished. "I hope you young people at least have some sort of protection while you're doing that." As she left the room, so did all tension in the air.

Ryoko stuck her tongue out at the door. "Assumptuous bitch." With that, Ryoko reached into her shopping bag, retrieved a black T-shirt and handed it to Heero. She turned the water on in one of the sinks, placed Heero's green tank top under the running water and watched him pull on the black shirt from the mirror. "You know, you look good in that black shirt. I was gonna keep it or myself, but I think it fits you better." _Not that he isn't fine without a shirt._

"I don't mean to be rude, but isn't this a girls' shirt?"

"No. If I only shopped in the girl's clothing department, I wouldn't wear the majority of what I'd find. Most of those clothes have frills, flowers, and pink on them."

"Oh."

"Besides, isn't that one of the new styles that girls are wearing guys clothing?"

"Uh.. I guess so." He pulled the black T-shirt on and checked himself in the mirror.

Ryoko leaned over his shoulder. "You know, you look _fine_ in that."

DD

Suddenly the door flew open, "RYOKO!!! RYOKO!!! YOUR MISSING IT!!"

Ryoko gave a look of utter annoyance. "Washu! What the hell do you want!"

Washu grinned, "Well, this guy is out in the lobby and he has really long hair and he's really hot and, well, about 3 minutes ago he lost his shirt. Now he's fighting with the concession guys because they won't give him candy. And Ryoko, What in the name of the seven hells are you doing with a guy in here?"

Heero gave his normal glare (patent pending; -P) and looked at Washu, "You said he had long hair, was it in a braid was he dressed in black and was he on a major sugar high?"

Washu nods happily, "To put it simply, yes."

Heero ran out to the lobby to see Duo, shirtless and irate, yelling at people while Wufei Quatre and Trowa all stood in a corner, acting as if they knew nothing of the crazed lunatic. Heero rushed up and handed Duo a 20, which Duo promptly handed over to the disgruntled employees.

VSO

Heero glared briefly at Duo and then he bowed down to the employees. "I'm sorry, but my.. uhh… brother doesn't get out much." He leans closer to the employees, whispering, "He's not used to being out of his straight-jacket, ya' know?"

One girl, whom previously witnessed Duo at the candy counter placed her index finger upon her chin, considering what Heero had said. She glanced over to Heero, whose face held a pleading expression, and then she looked at Duo, who was now grinning like mad and checking Washu out from a distance. The girl sighed, shook her head and said, "Yes, I can understand what you mean, sir." The others all shook there heads and murmured in agreement.

Next, a guy with shaggy black hair, a little more than six feet of height, enough piercing to make a metal detector explode, and a pair of black-rimmed glasses took role as spokesperson'.

"Sir," he said primly, despite his punk-rocker looks, "Your.. ahem.. brother has aggravated our entire staff at this prestigious theater. It is to my opinion that he should be taken away from this place. However, being the kind man that I happen to be, I will condone him for a short while longer." He cleared his throat, "Should he so much as sneeze in the wrong direction, all seven of you will be removed from this theater."

"But, there are only five of us."

The man cleared his throat and pointed at Washu, Ryoko, Duo, Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre. All six were standing nearby the west wall, talking to one another. "Seven." He stated in a crisp tone.

Heero, despite all of his previous experience with authority, broke into a cold sweat. This guy was worse than twenty of Dr. J. "Yessir."

"You may now return to your business, as long as your 'brother' gets his shirt back on."

Heero saluted. "Yessir."

"Are you mocking me?"

Another employee grabbed the guy by the collar of his shirt. "Cool it, Craig, I think you scared the shit out of him."(A.N. Washu is going to MURDER Ryoko for usage of this name b/c Craig is her guy he does NOT need to be put in here, most likely he could blow up the metal thingy, but that's beside the point!! It's not like the description doesn't fit him 2 a key!! You assmunch!)

While Craig was distracted, Heero dashed over to where the other pilots, Washu, and Ryoko stood.

For some time, in fact, while the entire ordeal with Craig and the other employees had gone on, Wufei had been studying Ryoko, trying to place where he had previously seen her. After a few moments, he reached his conclusion. "You're that bitch who almost ran me over with the black Dodge Ram on the highway, aren't you?"

"So you're the little toad who almost made a blood stain on my new truck, then… If you want to keep running out in front of vehicles, try not to get hit by anything brand new, like mine, okay?"

Wufei was shaking with rage. "Woman, I challenge you to a duel."

"Not right now, worm. I have to go buy tickets. Washu, do you mind if we see a different movie?"

"Sure, I've seen this one three times already."

Ryoko practically skipped over to the ticket counter, armed with twelve dollars. "I'd like to purchase two tickets to Mission: Impossible 3." Ryoko handed the clerk the cash and about fifty-three cents of change and two tickets were handed back.

The seven walked into theater five and chose their seats. The theater lights had not yet been dimmed, so the group had a chance to scout out an area to hunker down for the movie. Of course, with the given situation, someone had gotten a better idea that to sit and watch a movie.


	4. Bovine

(HA!! She picks the worst time 2 let me have the keyboard!) When all seven of them had found their seats and Washu and Duo had discovered that popcorn was very fun to throw at people and "share", the movie started and the overly disgruntled employee, Craig (A.N.-Washu glares at Ryoko in annoyance 4 using this name), stood in the back watching the group to make sure…Duo didn't sneeze wrong, or anything like that. Duo reached over towards the popcorn and eyed the crowd for a victim. He finally spotted an older couple sitting about 10 feet away from him to his left. He broke into one of those sugar high grins and grabbed a handful of popcorn, Washu shot him a quizzical look, "Duo?" she whispered looking at him, "what are you doing??" "Um, nothing?!" Washu gave him a skeptic look, "Your gonna throw popcorn at people ain't ya!" Duo grinned widely, "Never!" Washu smirked. "Ow!!" She reached up and rubbed her ear, "What the fuck!" She turned around to see Ryoko glaring at her, "Shut up!" "You threw a gobstopper at me!!" Washu's and Duo's faces were a look of mock horror, Duo sobbed, "What a waste of good sugar!!" Washu glared, "So I'm a waste huh?" Duo looked up, "No, Of course not!!! I didn't mean it like that!!" Washu grinned. "I know, just saying!" Duo looked around for the couple that he was going to make victim to his evil reign of undead bovine. (A.N For explanation of the undead bovine, go 2 www.mutedfaith.com and take the role playing quiz, thank you and have a good year filled with alien frogs that will take over the mind of the undead bovine and-Duo clamps hand over Washu's mouth). Duo found the couple and smirked, He contemplated the angle, direction, breeze direction, popcorn size, and other random things that would help him hit his targets. He took aim, and threw the popcorn, (A.N He missed miserably) Washu began to laugh her ass off as the popcorn landed in front of a three-year-old child who looked quizzically at the ceiling in confusion. The child tugged at his dad's shirtsleeve, "Daddy!! God's giving me presents!!" The man looked at him in confusion, "Hun, I think your seeing things." Duo pouted in annoyance, "so not fair!" Washu laughed, "Ya missed!" Craig came over and slammed his fist into Duos head. "I told you to be quiet!!" Duo looked at Craig in confusion, "One, was that supposto hurt, two, no u didn't." Craig looked at Duo in annoyance, "You son of a bitch!" Washu rolled her eyes, "Scamper off, go on, shoo!" Craig sat down in-between Washu and Duo, "Are you seeing anyone?" Craig grinned happily and held Washu's hands and prayed. Duo debated for a moment before grabbing the back of Craig's neck and hissing in his ear, "She's mine." Washu gave them a quizzical look, "I am?" Duo gave her his puppy dog eyes and made his bottom lip tremble. Craig reached behind his head and twisted Duo's arm. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT YOUR MOUTHS BEFORE I SHUT THEM FOR YOU!!!!!" Wufei stood up in an angry rage. "THIS IS INCONCEIVABLE!" Trowa looked up at him, "what happened to injustice?" "Shut up Barton!" Trowa smirked slightly and continued to watch the movie. Suddenly a large group of employees ran up and started screaming at the group of…eight… One of the females came forward "Excuse me but could all eight of you step out into the lobby?" Craig blushed a deep shade of crimson, "Eight! I-I'm not included in this group! I'm a employee!" The woman gave him a look of mock annoyance, "and your point would be?" "Sorry M'am." Craig stood and after shooting a glare at Duo marched into the lobby, Heero managed to get a 'Hnn" in at the woman before also going to the lobby, He was soon followed by the rest of the six. After all of the movie going people had been calmed enough to return to the movie peacefully…

"You eight have been disturbing the movie the ENTIRE time!!! I can't believe that all of you could be so, so infuriating and disrespectful! The entire movie going experience…" As the woman was babbling on and on the eight were talking among each other. Duo scurried up 2 the candy counter, Washu and Craig following close behind him. "I want cotton candy, and pixie sticks!" Duo grinned and waved a 50 around in the air. Washu snatched the money out of his hand. Duo gave her a confused look, "But, but, Washu!" Craig gave him a small grin and stuck his tongue out.

Quatre yawned, "Doesn't she know she's making us miss the movie?" He looked behind him for Trowa and Wufei, "Guys?" He looked over towards the snack counter, "Well, theirs Duo, beating the shit out of that weird freaky guy… Theirs Heero…um, still actually…listening to that chick…humm…" Suddenly a large crash is heard throughout the theater.

The woman went into hysterics as she stopped ranting about peace in her theater and saw Craig's head promptly smashed through the glass display candy case. Washu shook her head, "Why me?"

Ryoko looked at her watch, "Oh great." She grabbed Heeros shirt and pulled him back into the theater. Duo seeing this grabbed Washu and pulled Quartre on the way and ran into the Theater laughing like a lunatic monkey. When all eigh-...Err...seven, had gotten their seats, they soon noticed that they were being surrounded by (Dun-dun-dun-Dunn!!) An evil society of the undead bovine lead by the bartender that served Duo his drinks (A.N...humm…explanation…I think not.)!!! Wufei shrieked in fear, sounding strangely like a 5yr old girl on helium. Of course with the pilots luck this only angered the undead bovine more…so…of course, they took their weapons of mass destruction and began to advance towards the pilots. (A.N I know, I know, this is getting really odd, but hey, what do u want out of me, I'm obsessed with the undead bovine! Hey, maybe I should add Treize's twisted, demonic, vampiric legions of the undead that he likes to unleash on the unwitting morons that cross his path...hum)

Wufei grabbed Trowa's arm and whimpered helplessly. "Trowa! The undead zombies! Their after me! Help me!" Trowa looked down at Wufei who clung to his arm like a needy child begging for a toy, "Wufei…Their not zombies…their undead bovine…" "WHATEVER!" Ryoko and Heero had long ago snuck out of the angry zombified massful legions of undead bovine, and had gone into another movie hoping for some peace. So of course, we now have Duo, Washu, Quatre, and Trowa…Wufei is to scared to do anything, therefore he doesn't count.  Quatre glanced up, "Holy mother of god…. we're surrounded by massful demonic legions of undead bovine!! WHAT DID WE DO TO JUSTIFY THIS!!!!!" Wufei stood up from his shriveled mass of unworthiness, "How dare you use the word justice!" Wufei scowled, "You know nothing of justice and worthiness! You bastard!" Wufei's rant on justice is stopped suddenly by the scythe of a angry undead bovine. Duo grins, "He…uh, she, uh, IT has a scythe! COOL! I want it!" The angry undead bovine growls angrly and lashes out at Duo with the scythe and deeply cuts (Deeply sobbing…damn u Heather, damn u!) his arm. Duo's face becomes a look of pure rage as he barrels through the mass amounts of angry bovine. "You stupid bastard bovine! Die! All of you assholes! Die, damn it! Die! And you, and you! Take that you cowardly scum! You! You're the one who cut me! Die! You! You cut me again! This is warrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Washu shook her head, "Duo, you freak. You didn't even realize that you left your wallet back here AND your candy…and your keys…what kind of dumbass gives you keys…especially to a car?!?!" Quatre blushed a deep shade of red. "Um, Uh, Miss Washu, that, um, would have to be me…Um, yea…" Washu looked at Quatre with a look of amazement. "Quatre, YOU gave him the keys!!"

Trowa cleared his throat, "If you two would please direct you attention to the left of the bus, you will see a large group of evil undead bovine that for some reason have decided to kill us. If you will please look to the right of the bus. You will see a man with long brown braided hair screaming at the top of his lungs at the undead bovine. And if you will look everywhere in general, you will see that Heero and Ryoko had snuck off along time ago…and although I don't want to know where the 'wild antisocial beasts' are, I have a good idea. And now class, if you will notice that the undead bovine are advancing on us with large weapons… and I do believe were all going to die…Thank you and please watch your step on the way out of the hydroplane."

Washu and Quatre exchanged looks, "Is he a bus tour guide?" Washu looking overly confused herself replied, "Well, to be honest, I think he WAS a bus tour guide, but then he became a teacher, and then a…well…maybe, a long shot but, a hydroplane pilot?" "I heard something about hydro some where in there. That's about it." Trowa rolled his eyes. "YOU BASTARDS!!!! GET AWAY! GET AWAY NOW! GO BACK TO THE depths from which you came!" "Must be Duo again." "Yep." Suddenly Craig bloody and bruised came out from the mass of Bovine, "I…am…alive…I…have…prevailed…once, again!" Craig falls onto the floor in a massive heap.

 The undead bovine mumble among each other for a few moments till the tallest meanest evilest…looking…thing, came out and spoke…Yes, now we have evil demonic SPEAKING bovine! "We have come to a judgment." Wufei peeked up a little, "The only reason we have disturbed this theater is because of these two moronic bastards fighting. We get sick of it, we live in a theater! Can you even fathom how hard it is every week on week hearing you kids, in and out! Its ridicules!"

One of the bovine walk forward and drop Duo, Heero, and Ryoko into massive heaps onto the floor near Craig. Washu, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei all realize suddenly that they could all die at any second, I mean come on…HEERO YUY…is on the floor…COMPLETELY unconscious!!  What does that tell you! Quatre gives a freaked out look, "Dude, it means were all in serious shit!!" Everyone gives Quatre an odd look between stupidity, amazement, and that you-fucking-moron-were-the-main-characters-we-cant-die look.

Heero woke up and looked around him to see masses and masses…and masses of undead bovine, all round him…EVERYWHERE! He looked over to his right and saw the remaining 4 still…alive…then to his left to see Ryoko and Duo laying on the ground out cold. Heero reached down and felt the pocket of his jeans; his gun was still there, that was good. Maybe he would get to vent some anger after all.

The undead bovine that had been talking before continued, "All we ask of you is that you stay quiet and watch the movie!" Wufei stood up with one of his world famous cocky Wufei looks and said, "This is Injustice! How dare you tell US! The gundam pilots to do YOUR will! We are independent! We do what WE want! You have NO power over us!" The undead bovine gave Wufei a odd look of confusion, Quatre shook his head, "Wufei, its not gonna work!" Wufei gave Quatre a confused look, "But…it worked on that Jared guy…" Just as the undead bovine was about to say something else a McDonalds worker came running in with a enraged look on his face. "THERE YOU ARE!!!!! ALL OF YOU! BACK TO THE REFRIDGERATOR! NOW!!" the undead bovine gave a look of distress and turned toward the worker, "Yes Chadwick…" "Don't you Chadwick me, you bovine! Get moving! Now!" he turned around and looked at the pilots, "So terribly sorry about that, they do that ALL the time, I just don't know what to do about them, bovine you know, terribly grouchy, just don't know what to do about it. Well if you have anymore undead bovine problems just give me a call! The names Chadwick, Chadwick Merryweather Harding, Uh, The third." The bovine were rushed out of the building in a insane rage. As soon as they were gone Duo sat up grinning, "I WANT CANDY!!" everyone in the building fell down…except for Heero, Ryoko, and Craig…who were still on the ground. (A.N. I kno this is insane but hey, it works 4 me, I've gotten my obsession over undead bovine out now! I'm happy! )

Washu Jumped onto Duo's lap and grinned happily. "Chazzy Clause…i want a pony!" "A Pony? But…were not even dating!" Craig sat up, "BUT WE ARE!!!" Craig jumps onto Washu and hugs her, "Arnt we darling!" "No" "But….but…" Washu clings to Duo's neck while Duo grins happily.

(A.N-We haven't worked on this fic in ages. SO I honestly can't say when the next update will be. So Yeah. ENJOY WHAT THERE IS! .)


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